A Quick Note on Notes

I went online to pull out the lyrics for The Watchmen's "On My Way" off the amazing album Silent Radar. Now, it's not exactly that the lyrics as sung on the album, and this song in particular, are difficult to make out, but I just wanted to see them written out. You know, helps you digest it, or something. I was surprised to find that three out of the four sites I went to had an ellipsis (...) instead of the line "spray my brains". I suppose I can understand peoples' aversion to blatant suicide references, escpecially particularly graphic ones like this, but who are you helping if you helping by taking it out? I find it really confusing in light of the fact that the profanity in "Any Day Now" is still intact. Whatever.

I admit I was thrown a little when I first registered this line. I was lying down listening, but not really paying attention, just enjoying the melody, when the line "I kiss the barrel, spray my brains" jumps out of nowhere. I found it particularly jarring since the song almost carries itself with a hopeful, retrospective groove that would usually be the "I made it through it all" kind of song, especially with lines like "I've grown up big and strong" and the title "on my way". It becomes something altogether more disturbing and really truthful about the mindset driving suicide. When you're in that place, in that mindset, it is escape. Suicide holds this hypnotic apeal as a way of "growing up" or "getting over it" and "moving on", for lack of a more refined vocabulary at the moment.

If you don't own the album, go get it. If you do, listen to the song again and see what I mean.

On My Way

Change yourself, not me
Vicious fighter, I�ll agree
Nervous anger, scotch part water
I�'ve recovered fine, it'�s me

I'�ve grown up big and strong, on my way back on

Wear my halo
It'�ll make you think like me
I fell hard though
But I�'ll get back up on, you'�ll see

I�'ve grown up big and strong, on my way back on

In my town, I remember
Fought to break my mind down
Paid my toll, conscience clear
My conscience is clearer

I�'ve grown up big and strong, on my way back on

Seven times the man I'�ll ever be
Like a God on Sunday
Kiss the barrel, spray my brains
All gone now

I�'ve grown up big and strong, on my way back on