Watching the shutters crash

I'm trying hard to stay abreast of myself, but between work and sleep, it's easy to sit and do nothing at all, even if you've got everything you need for art and inspiration a few feet away.

It's also too hot here.

What we want to make ourselves into

I've been asked a lot, by many different people, what I want to be in life. Some of the people asking are, or were, looking for the simple, trite answers we hold in our brains as courtesy demands; one-word pill capsules to fit ourselves into. Others have had more sincere ideas in mind, looking for a bit more in the line of character, not just what but why as well. Over the past few days I've come to some sorts of conclusions about the what and why of where I want to be headed. I want to be someone that people reference. I love to write and theorize about the nature of art and how things fit together in the world, I have been, none too rarely, describes as one of the world's more opinionated people. I like to have my opinion, and I enjoy sharing it nearly as much. Conceited? Likely, but in the same breadth and breath I feel that in the midst of my frequently redundant and obsolete insights are a few ideas worth sharing.

Pictures of Clouds

Everyone takes them, they appear worldwide, they're naturally photogenic, and are of the same essence which dreams are sculpted from. At the same time there's a billion and one pictures of them out there. So many so that I find myself looking at peoples pictures and thinking evil thoughts about their large number of cloud pictures as though the photographers were irritating parents thrusting small children towards your face and insisting that you love them with an incomprehensible fervor. Perhaps this is a slight exaggeration, but that's part of what the world is built of. So, regardless of the animosity between me and other peoples' pictures of clouds, I still find myself sitting around outside, turning my camera up towards the sky. Hypocrite? Probably.



As an ancillary note, I've decided that something I do will have a character who only takes pictures of the sky and clouds, and pins them all on their bedroom wall.

MY voice inside YOUR head

Last night I was having some trouble sleeping, mostly due to being too tired (I hate how that's possible, to be so tired you can't sleep) and due to the heat, so I scoured the internet for some information about people I used to know, but haven't heard from or seen in a few years. As I sent off a few short, over-tired e-mails I started to wonder how they'd be received. They'll read them with my voice as they remember it in their heads, but I'm generally unclear as to what that sounds like. I'm under the impression that more casual acquaintances perceive me as somewhat whiney, and definitely a bit of a know-it-all.

I'm not cool enough for my own self

Well, the forms came from the courier today, as promised by the nice lady on the phone yesterday.

Here's the breakdown:

• The Television


• Sony 1050 Watt A/V Receiver


• Sony DVD Player


• Polk Audio Tower Speakers


• Polk Audio Surround Speakers


• Polk Audio 12" Powered Sub


• Polk Audio Center Channel


• ExpressVu HD/PVR

If you're not careful it might happen to you

Today I won a home entertainment system worth between 9 and 10 thousand Canadian Dollars. Over the past week and a half I've been working at the Calgary Stampede, doing grip work and acting as camera assistant for Vos Media, who were hired by Bell Canada to handle the multi-media at their pavilion this year. In the Bell Pavilion they set up a massive collection of jumps and ramps for a mountain bike stunt show, called Rodeo X. The same bikers have been coming in and doing the show for three years now, but every other year it's been strictly a demonstration sport. This year Bell decided to use this as an opportunity to push their cell phones and digital satellite more directly with a contest. The riders were divided into two teams, the Mavericks and the Outlaws, and during the course of each show audience members could send a text message to a number with a vote for either team, then at the end of the show the results would be announced. Sending in your vote also entered you into the daily draw for a Blackberry, and the Grand Prize draw of a HD home entertainment centre. From the get-go the Outlaws were drawing in more votes, in my estimation strictly because "outlaws" is easier to type into a phone. So throughout the week I and some others would put in the occasional vote for the Mavericks. then we realized that those of us working for Vos Media had no tangible connection to Bell aside from working in their tent, as such we were eligible to win the prizes. One day when votes and attendance were low I decided to try and stack the odds in my favor, since I could sell a Blackberry on e-bay and buy myself a digital camera without having to worry about messing up my tuition budget. That day I single-handedly accounted for 25% of the day's votes. The same day our stage director's fiance came to the show and put in one vote. He won the Blackberry. I put in a couple more votes each day after that, but was pretty disheartened, and fairly certain I'd gone over my limit of free text messages. I put in a couple yesterday so that the total vote difference between the winning team and the losing team wouldn't be so wide as it potentially could be. this morning I was sitting at home, chatting with the folks, passing time before going to work, when my cell phone rings. The call display puts up a 604 area code (here it's 403) so I scour my mind quickly to think who might be calling, but come up short (I don't get many calls to start with, let alone long distance.) When I answered I was greeted warmly by a voice telling me they were from Bell Canada (not too often that you can say that) and she asked if I'd put in a text message on the 17th that said "vote Mavericks," I indeed had, and started thinking "hah, I won a Backberry after all."

"I'm calling to inform you that you've been selected as the winner of our Grand Prize. Do you remember what the grand prize was?"

"uh.. yeah, a home entertainment centre."

The next few minutes, the list of specifications for what I'd won, the questions to ensure I'm eligible, the skill testing question to make the contest legitimate under Canadian law, all kind of blurred together as I tried to wrap my head around the fact that I now own a TV bigger than my house has effective space for.

dir /w *.jpg

I have an account over at Flickr.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lemonfrosted/

http://www.flickr.com/people/lemonfrosted/

4 July 2005

Adrianna and I got to talk on the phone for a good while last night. that was enjoyable. I wound up sleeping in until 12:30. Not exactly the greatest thing to do, but I'd suppose it was my body telling me what I need. I showed my photo portfolio to a whole bunch of people and think I may have acquired a number of potential contracts as a result. It's somewhat startling to come to a realization that I'm more than just a good photographer. I'm not sure what it is that makes someone that way, but I apparently have it. Looking at my own work I really feel as though I've grown a lot in the last year. My pictures are showing a precision and confidence that was absent before. More, I suppose, that my work has become a little less serendipitous than in the past. I suppose one of the keys to it all is to be able to have the confidence and control in shooting and presentation, while retaining the visual element and curious spirit of serendipity. As I take more and more steps into the realm of portraiture (as opposed to my work in candid) this twin element becomes more apparent to me, finding the ability to make a set-up, posed picture not look set up and posed. I think I managed to capture that perfectly (as perfectly as I feel I've ever done) in two of the shots I took for Kim and Cody. They both look candid, while were quite specifically directed (though my direction is generally open, since I still see it as my responsibility the inherent nature of the subject, even (especially) in the controlled environment of portraiture.)

Excerpt from my personal journal.